AVEN Italia • La comunità degli asessuali italiani

How old does someone have to be before they can know they’re asexual?
Old enough to say “I’m asexual”.
There’s no minimum age for asexuality, just like there’s no minimum age for any other sexual orientation. You never hear anyone say “Well, you’re only 15, so just to be safe, you might want to give it a few more years to see before you rule out bisexuality. You never know when some hot guy might catch your eye!” That would be ridiculous.
Presumably, by the time someone is at the point where they’re comfortable with identifying as asexual, they’ve spent some time thinking about it. They’ve gone through the process of realizing that they’re different from their friends and wondering why they’re not as interested in sex as everyone else around them. They’ve spent long hard hours questioning themselves, trying to figure out who they are.

You realize that everyone else thinks about sex in a completely different manner than you do.
You think of sex in anthropological or scientific terms, rather than romantic or erotic terms.
You’ve thought, “I’m straight (/gay/bi/etc.), but not very good at it”.
You’ve thought, “I must be straight by default”.
You think that “sexy” clothes just look uncomfortable or cold and can’t understand why anyone would wear them.
You thought that everyone else was just pretending to be interested in sex.

Asexuality is a choice.
Asexual people don’t/can’t have sex.
Asexuality is just a phase that you’ll grow out of.
It’s just a hormone problem.
You can’t know for sure unless you’ve had sex.
Asexuality is the same as being a transsexual or transgender.
Asexuals just haven’t met the right person yet.
Asexual people are just afraid of sex or are disgusted by sex.

There’s a word for a relationship without sex. It’s “Friendship”.
There are many non-asexual couples where the sexual flame has long been extinguished, but who are still inseparable. There are many non-asexual couples who are in circumstances where they can’t have sex, but they’re still madly in love. Just because there’s no sex, that doesn’t negate the romantic aspect of the relationship. Would you say to an elderly couple that they’re “just friends” because he’s no longer able to perform? Would you tell a couple who’ve been in a bad car accident that they’re “just friends” because she’s paralyzed?