AVEN Italia • La comunità degli asessuali italiani

The Waiting Fox ha scritto:Credo di avere due occhi tondi come monete. Complimenti vivissimi, Kit, sei bravissimum! Molto apprezzato anche il momento Floydiano, come lo hai chiamato. Visto che hai anche un account su DA, ti aggiungo agli autori seguiti ;D

heavenriver ha scritto:The Fundamentals will all be inspired by my own relationship, as an individual, with the key aspects of life. They will include a number of things I consider important on a very abstract level. (I'm pretty much an abstract person myself). There will be seven fractals in total in this saga, this one being the first.
The Seeker represents my relationship with knowledge. I've always been fascinated by learning, and that has applied to many subjects to date; even now, it's hard for me to find the time to explore all of my intellectual curiosities, since I have very many and I really do wish I knew more of everything. It applies to academics, especially in terms of computing expertise and programming languages; it also applies to hobbies, as I'd like to develop my artistic self a lot more than I already have, and I'd love to get some more writing time too. I definitely wish I could devote more time to all of this. I wish I could get all the time I wanted and learn everything I wanted, because I find the very learning experience one of the most enriching and satisfactory aspects of my life, no matter the subject.

The Explorer represents my relationship with imagination. Which is... a weird relationship, indeed. It's not nearly as emotional and spontaneous as it's supposed to be - even when I create, be it fractals, literature or whatever else, the final product always inherits more of my own intellectual curiosity than my desire for self-expression. Which is also why I keep experimenting with new styles, rather than sticking with just one at a time: I feel more comfortable exploring new possibilities and discovering the realms of the unknown, rather than sit in just one comfort zone without ever discovering anything new. I tend to push my limits even with the few styles I stick around with for some time in order to exploit their potential at my best. I get chills down my spine whenever I land in a previously unknown territory: new roads to walk, new ways of shaping the many concepts flying all over my head all the time.
Ah, and I shouldn't forget to mention that my imagination is essentially really really mother freakin' gay. Look at dem rainbows!

heavenriver ha scritto:The Achiever represents my relationship with ambition. I believe the title is pretty self-explanatory in this one. I've always had a really strong drive to plan my future ahead and work like crazy in order to make it happen the way I wanted it to. I'm currently in one of those decisive phases of life: I have a dream I very much want to come true, and it is being accepted into a prestigious university and getting my Master's degree in Computer Engineering there. I'm at my second Bachelor's degree year right now (out of three) and one of the necessary, vital conditions for me to be able to achieve my goal is graduating in July next year, which is going to be a lot of hard work and a really difficult task, one that not very many students have completed over the years. I've been doing fairly good with grades and such so far, but it's always been out of effort, and I don't think I'm even particularly gifted for the subject I'm studying; what I know is that I love it more than anything else I've ever studied before, and given how much I care about it, I know I need to get even better and push my limits further, I need to be the very best I can.
I've been studying like crazy for I don't even remember how many months now One easily loses track of time when academic life is so absorbing and demanding, to the point I've been having a hard time even creating fractals, and this one is no exception. I made an earlier version which looked quite different, and had green in it, but I had to remake about 65% of it because I didn't like it. I took out everything that isn't fiery and bright because that's the colour of my ambition, and so I want it to be the dominating shade of my determination. I roughened the shapes, added details and clutter, and whatever else felt right to say this is what I am, what I want, and what I WILL obtain.

The Overseer represents my relationship with surroundings. By 'surroundings' I mean everything that is outside the self. It's always been a tricky relationship for me: I've felt ambivalent about life events and people on many occasions in the past. The point I've currently reached is a singular position of non-intervention: I let life happen as it's meant to while I focus on my intellectual goals. This helps me keep my inner peace and quiet, although it does have a possibly unpredicted downside. Having never been a very 'feely' person, I typically don't get emotionally involved in what I do, and in most people I end up meeting (there have been exceptions and there will likely be more in the future, but they're very rare). My lack of personal, subjective involvement always makes me feel like I'm missing out on something most other individuals seem to experience: the spark of life, pathos, real emotion. I feel fine with it for the most part, but I do admit, it leaves a remnant of nostalgia in me; I'm the world's passer-by, the one that watches life flow in others and around myself without being a part of it, moving through the times like a completely unaffected ghost. Yet in a sense, I have come to appreciate the insight this position offers; I get to see life from an outward, almost "objective" perspective. I oversee people in their displays of anger, sadness, joy and excitement - and yet I am external, vaccinated against this all.

The Examiner represents my relationship with others. It's the natural follow-up of The Overseer, number four in this series, which portrayed my relationship with surroundings. Other people are, obviously, part of my surroundings, and most of all part of my studies. I genuinely enjoy observing people and gathering information about those I come to know; I have a habit of looking up their profiles, websites and what have you, if I get the chance to, just out of curiosity. I know I'm the odd one out, but I can't help but find human variety extremely interesting. In a way, I could also say I examine them; those rare times I find others to have interests in common with my own, after all, have resulted in pleasant, meaningful conversations which have sometimes turned into long-term friendships.

The Protector represents my relationship with feelings. Once again, it presents itself as a natural follow-up of the previous piece in the series, representing my relationship with others on a more general level. The one I have with feelings is the most conflictual one in absolute: I'm not a very emotional person in general, and that makes it really hard for me to detect, recognise, and acknowledge any kind of feeling, especially when it comes down to romantic feelings. A part of me defaults to rejection, meaning that I never trust them right from the start; on the contrary, I typically try to keep said feelings lukewarm for the good of everyone, especially my own, thinking that too many fears and difficulties factor into the course of events for me to think it's worth it.
On a much less often basis, I will actually try and overcome my fear. It only happens if I know that my feelings are growing stronger day by day. I may go as far as telling the person that I like them. It generally doesn't end well - at least, it hasn't in the past, more often that it has. I still remain hopeful of one day overcoming these emotional issues in full and be capable of nurturing a healthy, committed, long-term sort of relationship with another person, should I ever find someone I actually want to share that much with. Until that day, my reflexes and subconscious contribute to protect my heart's softer side, providing me a shield from illusion/delusion and preserving the microcosm I willingly keep out of reach for most people, only being willing to share it with that hypothetical someone.

The Inquisitor represents my relationship with my inner self. As the title might suggest, it's a relationship that's heavily based upon questioning and exploring the depths of my psyche. I crave to understand myself and know who I am and what I want, both because I find self-analysis fascinating and because I know that, if I don't spend time enough to figure myself out entirely, then none will. In order to let others know who I am, I *have* to know myself first. And I like coming off as the clear-minded sort of person, unafraid of displaying how long a time I actually spend thinking about myself. It may sound selfish, but it's a very important part of my life experience.

This struck me as the most logical conclusion of the whole series, considering its natural development: first, exploring the relationship I have with knowledge and imagination, both characteristics I have internalised in some way; then proceeding to ambition, possibly my strongest tie with reality, as I am a goal-oriented person and won't give up on what I want from my life; then analysing surroundings, expanding my vision outwards; reaching out to others, who are found in said surroundings; and from there exploring my feelings, that keep me linked to a number of important people in my life; and from there going back to myself. Can you see it? It's all linked. It's a circle I have created with these seven fractals, with each entity/emotion/sensation connecting to another. So here I am, crowning this artistic experience with the last of seven chapters. I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did enjoy myself while I was making them; it was a great opportunity to go on a short journey of self-discovery for me as well. Expect to see more sagas from me in the future!